It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.