I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?