I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT