Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
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I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear