Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy