Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Vermont (802)

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  (802): View more from Vermont

  elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.

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  (802): elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze. http://tfl.nu/rr46
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  he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him

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  (802): he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him http://tfl.nu/grpf
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  Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?

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  (802): Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit? http://tfl.nu/yu0u
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  Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?

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  (802): Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever? http://tfl.nu/bljl
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  PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.

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  (802): PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know. http://tfl.nu/g6tj
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  I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."

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  (802): I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic." http://tfl.nu/uvkh
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  He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.

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  (802): He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR. http://tfl.nu/1otj
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  good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...

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  (802): good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy... http://tfl.nu/0srz
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  Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life

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  (802): Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life http://tfl.nu/rdws
  Replies (37) Good night (599) Bad night (3033)
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  You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  The one in Montpelier?

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  yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.

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  (802): You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns? (1-802): The one in Montpelier? (802): yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed. http://tfl.nu/hzcv
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  I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.

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  (802): I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel. http://tfl.nu/5pvk
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  Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."

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  (802): Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami." http://tfl.nu/q4af
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  Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?

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  (802): Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase? http://tfl.nu/m4dc
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  you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it

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  (802): you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it http://tfl.nu/ykku
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  i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin

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  (802): i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin http://tfl.nu/0a0z
  Replies (14) Good night (688) Bad night (1949) Order T-Shirt