I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow