Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (479)

Last Night in Arkansas (479)

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.

(870): View more from Arkansas

Birthday success

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(479): I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick. (870): Birthday success http://tfl.nu/9sf8

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I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!

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(479): I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning! http://tfl.nu/musz

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You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....

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(479): You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging.... http://tfl.nu/it7p

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I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.

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(479): I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again. http://tfl.nu/tpxn

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I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.

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(479): I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/32cb

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Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.

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(479): Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep. http://tfl.nu/7jgb

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I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah

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(479): I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah http://tfl.nu/ef97

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There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.

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(479): There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell. http://tfl.nu/h1ye

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Big girls don't cry they get day drunk

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(479): Big girls don't cry they get day drunk http://tfl.nu/o4rn

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The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?

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(479): The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in? http://tfl.nu/vsmz

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You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid

(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak

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(479): You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid (918): I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak http://tfl.nu/f0ta

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We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair

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Strong work

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(479): We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair (501): Strong work http://tfl.nu/wibt

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What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.

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(479): What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5. http://tfl.nu/zz72

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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.

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(479): As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man. http://tfl.nu/2x85

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My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.

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(479): My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman. http://tfl.nu/mmis

Replies (5) Good night (1588) Bad night (329) Order T-Shirt

Last Night in Arkansas (479)

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