Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.