I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.