if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Shame is for Republicans.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?