I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM