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remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
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