Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.