Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jĂ¤ger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
15 Times â€śFlight of the Conchordsâ€ť Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used