Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Washington (509)

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  (509): View more from Washington

  i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.

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  (509): i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/8fl0
  Replies (7) Good night (1725) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
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  Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.

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  (509): Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away. http://tfl.nu/1jys
  Replies (6) Good night (2134) Bad night (741) Order T-Shirt
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  We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea

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  (509): We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea http://tfl.nu/v62m
  Replies (5) Good night (3330) Bad night (629)
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  Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.

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  Hospital.

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  I am invincible.

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  (509): Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all. (406): Hospital. (509): I am invincible. http://tfl.nu/el46
  Replies (10) Good night (2353) Bad night (985)
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  Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.

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  (509): Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it. http://tfl.nu/ou1a
  Replies (3) Good night (2361) Bad night (590) Order T-Shirt
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  There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.

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  (509): There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere. http://tfl.nu/0uwm
  Replies (9) Good night (853) Bad night (1917) Order T-Shirt
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  Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.

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  (509): Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested. http://tfl.nu/8mit
  Replies (3) Good night (1087) Bad night (1340) Order T-Shirt
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  God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number

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  (509): God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number http://tfl.nu/k3zo
  Replies (5) Good night (1980) Bad night (963) Order T-Shirt
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  I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.

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  (509): I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier. http://tfl.nu/0psb
  Replies (5) Good night (2067) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.

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  (509): I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore. http://tfl.nu/24ew
  Replies (10) Good night (914) Bad night (2000) Order T-Shirt
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  Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.

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  (509): Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad. http://tfl.nu/dn7l
  Replies (11) Good night (1947) Bad night (1243) Order T-Shirt
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  I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok

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  (509): I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok http://tfl.nu/3owz
  Replies (9) Good night (2475) Bad night (664) Order T-Shirt
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  You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.

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  (509): You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you. http://tfl.nu/aqxp
  Replies (3) Good night (2273) Bad night (691) Order T-Shirt
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  I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?

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  (509): I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become? http://tfl.nu/prj3
  Replies (11) Good night (723) Bad night (3427) Order T-Shirt
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  I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg

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  (509): I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg http://tfl.nu/tr8k
  Replies (6) Good night (2151) Bad night (705) Order T-Shirt