I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
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Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
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i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.