the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.