Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (972)

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  (972): View more from Texas

  Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...

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  Was she wearing cherry chapstick??

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  No. Life's not always a fairytale.....

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  (972): Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan... (214): Was she wearing cherry chapstick?? (972): No. Life's not always a fairytale..... http://tfl.nu/2nel
  Replies (24) Good night (6509) Bad night (734)
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  Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.

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  (972): Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter. http://tfl.nu/4cll
  Replies (4) Good night (1634) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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  Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?

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  (972): Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday? http://tfl.nu/8ic0
  Replies (3) Good night (2007) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.

  (972): View more from Texas

  I worry about you sometimes...

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  (214): LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT. (972): I worry about you sometimes... http://tfl.nu/k7ay
  Replies (22) Good night (4989) Bad night (711)
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  Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.

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  (972): Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive. http://tfl.nu/x0bv
  Replies (3) Good night (3599) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
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  I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?

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  (972): I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right? http://tfl.nu/cvur
  Replies (3) Good night (312) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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  I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.

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  (972): I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up. http://tfl.nu/rj29
  Replies (44) Good night (3896) Bad night (661) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.

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  (972): I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight. http://tfl.nu/5kki
  Replies (6) Good night (200) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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  Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...

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  (972): Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch... http://tfl.nu/v5jz
  Replies (11) Good night (837) Bad night (653) Order T-Shirt
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  Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.

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  (972): Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life. http://tfl.nu/6m4u
  Replies (10) Good night (2270) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.

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  (972): I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper. http://tfl.nu/qsqq
  Replies (7) Good night (2050) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
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  Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.

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  (972): Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition. http://tfl.nu/d2b2
  Replies (20) Good night (2368) Bad night (644)
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  I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.

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  (972): I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night. http://tfl.nu/hauh
  Replies (8) Good night (2127) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Hey man sorry I got all grabby

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  (972): Hey man sorry I got all grabby http://tfl.nu/1c4w
  Replies (3) Good night (779) Bad night (616) Order T-Shirt
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  I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.

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  (972): I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls. http://tfl.nu/wzfh
  Replies (9) Good night (2745) Bad night (614)