It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
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Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
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