I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Is This New Dating App Elitistâ€¦Or Genius?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer