I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.