She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Dating After Heartbreak
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This is the high leading the old right now
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.