Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
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I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
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I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.