Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.