Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship