I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.