he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.