We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later