You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.