Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
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The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
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These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.