I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic