He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.