Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
sex in a hospital.. check
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?