My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.