I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My vagina is officially offended.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
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With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies