I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.