Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.