Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Florida (954)

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  (954): View more from Florida

  Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!

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  God Bless America!

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  (954): Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day! (805): God Bless America! http://tfl.nu/gnt7
  Replies (134) Good night (6488) Bad night (1175)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.

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  (954): I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom. http://tfl.nu/1p31
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  I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.

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  (954): I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart. http://tfl.nu/2rds
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  the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.

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  (954): the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex. http://tfl.nu/73o1
  Replies (24) Good night (445) Bad night (1115) Order T-Shirt
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  you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now

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  (954): you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now http://tfl.nu/39yk
  Replies (82) Good night (25528) Bad night (1108)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments

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  (954): It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments http://tfl.nu/zq97
  Replies (15) Good night (4082) Bad night (1079) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.

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  (954): Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/pltj
  Replies (17) Good night (3738) Bad night (1026) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.

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  (954): I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else. http://tfl.nu/idx6
  Replies (14) Good night (2128) Bad night (1022) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.

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  (954): We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver. http://tfl.nu/zvig
  Replies (15) Good night (3793) Bad night (1008) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.

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  (954): tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"? (1-954): Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards. http://tfl.nu/k91c
  Replies (72) Good night (10286) Bad night (957)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"

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  (954): I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!" http://tfl.nu/pxgz
  Replies (9) Good night (2484) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm

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  (954): I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm http://tfl.nu/muws
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  i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.

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  (954): i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed. http://tfl.nu/a1x5
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  (954): View more from Florida

  i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night

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  (954): i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night http://tfl.nu/gokf
  Replies (33) Good night (3573) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school

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  (954): It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school http://tfl.nu/yqnn
  Replies (27) Good night (4964) Bad night (923) Order T-Shirt