On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?