My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE