This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
it's unicorns you uncultured swine