Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour