Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.