You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!