Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"