ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy