There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.