im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
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Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
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I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?