Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us