why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.