My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful