Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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