Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?