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Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
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