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just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
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