Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (630)

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  Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin

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  (630): Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin http://tfl.nu/3pnd
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  just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.

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  (630): just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol. http://tfl.nu/7wr8
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  She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...

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  (630): She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket... http://tfl.nu/7hai
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  dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!

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  (630): dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg! http://tfl.nu/jn1p
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  wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?

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  (630): wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them? http://tfl.nu/up3m
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  do you know how bad I want you right now?

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  As bad as i want you to stop texting me?

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  is that a hint?

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  (630): do you know how bad I want you right now? (1-630): As bad as i want you to stop texting me? (630): is that a hint? http://tfl.nu/28x8
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  That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.

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  (630): That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it. http://tfl.nu/khhu
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  nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster

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  (630): nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster http://tfl.nu/9e73
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  i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.

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  (630): i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it. http://tfl.nu/z8s5
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  I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.

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  (630): I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore. http://tfl.nu/o0ab
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  life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun

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  (630): life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun http://tfl.nu/2zbz
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  I wonder if you can snort coke upside down

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  (630): I wonder if you can snort coke upside down http://tfl.nu/eyfv
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  But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino

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  (630): But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino http://tfl.nu/qzo5
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  hot girl, 5 o clock

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  do you know how to read a clock?

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  (630): hot girl, 5 o clock (1-630): do you know how to read a clock? http://tfl.nu/x1wt
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  yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed

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  (630): yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed http://tfl.nu/06jt
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