But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
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he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
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My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret