He felt like a one man threesome
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.