How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...