maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do