So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs